5 Tips For Managing Pastoral PMS (Pre Message Syndrome)

It’s that time again. You are irritable. You are over emotional. The smallest little thing can set you off. Your family is walking on eggshells around you in fear that they might wake the angry lion.

You have a bad case of PMS – Pre Message Syndrome.

You are not alone. All pastors get it.

I typically get PMS on Saturday nights. On Saturday morning, I’m feeling good. I’m enjoying a relaxing morning with my family. Life is great.

But somewhere around 4 or 5pm my PMS starts to kick in. I start looking at the clock ever few minutes. My shoulders tense, as my anxiety builds.

In just a few hours I will need go to sleep so I am rested and ready for the morning! I had better put the final touches on my sermon before it’s too late!

Although I’m physically present with my family, mentally, I’m gone.

Even worse, on weeks where I feel the message will be particularly challenging or potentially controversial, my PMS can kick in as early as Monday. Then, everyone around me is in for a whole week of irritable pastor.

In these moments, I can be a ticking time bomb. If I’m not careful, I will unleash my anxiety and stress out on my family. No pastor wants their ministry to affect their family, but many allow it to when they PMS.

So what can we do?

We may never be cured of our PMS, but we can learn how to manage it.

5 Tips For Managing Pre Message Syndrome

1. Admit you have a problem.

The first step to overcoming a problem is admitting that you have a problem. Acknowledge that you feel the common effects of Pre Message Syndrome. Then, ask those around you who have been hurt by your irritability for forgiveness.

2. Get ahead on sermon prep.

Your anxiety levels will always be higher when you feel unprepared. Getting ahead on your preparation will reduce anxiety. It’s more work up front, but you will save yourself and your mental health in the long run. By the time Saturday night comes, your sermon should already be written. The only work you should have to do before Sunday morning is internalizing or rehearsing it.

3. Pray.

When you realize you have PMS, calm down. Take a deep breath. Then pray! Trust God to get you through it. Getting in an argument with your wife or yelling at your kids won’t help anything. Cast your anxiety on the Lord. (1 Peter 5:7)

4. Schedule your prep time.

If you know that you struggle with PMS, plan for it. How long will you be fully present with your family before you start preparing for the morning? Talk to your spouse about it, come to an agreement, and set a time where your family knows that you are going to lock yourself away to prepare. Don’t allow yourself to even think about your sermon until your scheduled time.

5. Be thankful you still get nervous.

I had a speech professor tell me once that you should only get really nervous if you never get nervous. Think about it. You get nervous because you care. If you never get anxious about preaching, it means you don’t care. Either you aren’t putting your entire heart and soul into your preaching, or you are playing it far too safe. Although being too nervous can be a problem, a healthy dose of nervousness is actually a god thing.

On a final note, don’t take yourself too seriously. In my family, my wife and I call my moodiness before preaching PMS. Why? Because it makes us laugh.

Learn to laugh about your PMS with your family. When you catch yourself getting cranky, apologize for your PMS. Give your wife permission to ask if you are having PMS. Warn your spouse when you feel an unusually strong case of PMS coming.

These things have worked for me.

How do you keep your PMS in check?